cooking with stella

ok, so one of the great things about being me is that I get the pleasure of experiencing things that many other people may not have a chance to do. Recently, one of those things has been a screening of "cooking with Stella", a south-asian themed movie directed by Dilip Mehta. Does that name ring a bell for a few of you? That’s probably because you know Dilip's sister Deepa, director of films like "Water" and "Bollywood/ Hollywood". like his sister, Dilip's ability to take a situation and turn it into a thought provoking piece of art is definitely present, as well as his ability to direct a star ensemble consisting of Don McKellar (" i was a rat", "childstar"), Seema Biswas ("Company", "Vivah") and veteran Hamilton/Mehta actress Lisa Ray ("Kasoor", "The world unseen").

"Cooking with stella" is a humorous commentary on the economical and moral state in India as well as gender roles in the house hold. Michael (McKellar) and Maya (Ray) are two Canadian diplomats who move to India and now live in the Canadian compound. On their arrival, they are greeted by the household cook Stella (Biswas), a witty, god loving and inspiring chef in her own rights. While informing her new masters of life in Delhi, we find out more and more about Stella and other household help. through out the movie, we find out in different hilarious schemes the lengths to which stella will go to so that she, along with her god-son Anthony and nanny Tannu, will profit off of foreigners in their land. Through out the movie, Stella continuously compares herself to Robin Hood; stealing from the rich to aide the poor and taking advantage of Michael's generosity to help others profit.

Each character in this film is rich and equally represented in the film. Biswas' portrayal of Stella is true to the character, with her honest portrayal of Stella's desire to help those around her and her lack of knowledge of the western world ("cooking is a very good time pass, no?"). Biswas' commitment to keeping the character completely honest is well displayed, and as explained by executive producer Deepa Mehta, was based on personal experiences with servants in India. Don McKellar's interpretation of Michael was really well done, as we saw a man, not only frustrated with being at home rather than working and providing for his family (as stated by Stella: "Sir only mothering"). The dedication that McKellar put into the formation of Michael was evident; from being a frustrated stay at home dad, to taking on smaller projects that allowed for him to pursue his desire to cook. With Lisa Ray taking on the role of Maya, I will admit I was a bit apprehensive. Lisa Ray has demonstrated in the past her ability to take on strong lead role, but her ability to play a dis-associated NRI blew me away. As usual, Ray's commitment to the art and her role is visible in every scene that she's in.

overall, "cooking with Stella" is definitely a lovable, hilarious film, supported by both its cast and it's crew. Dilip Mehta's first attempt at direction will definitely have you asking for the main course after this small appetizer.

ain't nothing but a chicken wing...

mood: indifferent ( I guess...)
listening to: Sadi Gali- Lehmber Husainpuri (I get in a FOB mood ok?)

so, after the amazing response to my last two blogs (seriously...my phone died cause you guys kept killing the battery!) I decided it was time for an entry that was a little more personal. Now some people might be reading this thinking that they know exactly what I'm talking about and who and so on and so forth; and chances are you're probably right. There's been ish, and I need to get it out there, cause quite frankly, I'm tired of keeping it in and people looking at me with pity cause everything's just so effing MESSED UP.

A few weeks ago, there was an event that shook my life up; and not in the good way. I took it hard; very hard. Those who know me on the personal level know that I'm a very SOCIAL person, and I generally am always around for everything; but during these 4 weeks, I had disappeared for 2 from the world (just went to class or stayed home), and made people worry about me. It had gotten to the point that people are still calling me on a daily basis to check up on me. To make matters worse, my parents eventually clued in and noticed that:

a) i'm depressed. I mope around the house and cry while hiding under the blanket. I also don't sleep in my room and at 22, am willing to sleep in their bed with them. That's right; my parents realize something's wrong when I act like a LOSER. thanks mom and dad!

b) I'm not eating. not eating breakfast. not eating lunch. not eating dinner. still not eating dinner after they went to sleep. and i'm saying no to food. If you know me by now, you know that I don't say no to food. I eat. I eat like a cow; so me not eating is a big deal. oh, and this has NOTHING to do with the fact my parents call me fat and say I eat too much. again, THANKS MOM AND DAD!!

c) i get upset when someone mentions my future. there was a time my dad asked me what I was planning on doing when exams were done; I didn't talk to him for the rest of the week. If you know that I'm too depressed to eat, why would you think there's a possibility that I would want to talk about the future...REALLY...

so that's how my parents tend to clue in on my life; can't say they're the worse cause they do notice when something's wrong (their method's on the other had; questionable.)

but yes, when that incident happened, it shook me up bad. I can honestly say that I have yet to recuperate from it; doing the best i can. I've been doing better; i can listen to music, laugh, fake a smile here and there; but what threw me back is learning information that makes me question things!!

let's contextualize this: an incident happens in someone's life, lets say Pooja's. now Pooja has no idea where this came from; as far as she was concerned, life was amazing; things couldn't have been more perfect. so when this happens, Pooja's confused, and to make it worse, she doesn't get a straight answer from the people around her. so for a significantly long time, Pooja tries to find reason, and answers on her own; eventually deciding that the incident occurred because of someone else's ignorance. this let's her come to terms with what happens, though she's hopeful that things will go back one day, and she makes progress. she's smiling and can look at things that remind her of the incident; until one day, someone confirms what she thought. This throws Pooja back, and she's now incapable of making a decision. it's one of those times when she wishes she wasn't right.

so that's what happened; I was proven right. I don't like being right. Why you may ask? cause I tend to analyze things, and when I analyze, I get answers I don't like. I don't like it when things I don't like come true. so yeah, i had a throw back today; cried a little on the bus going home, took a while to start blogging, but I got over it. you wanna know how? cause AIN'T NOTHING BUT A CHICKEN WING!

that line has literally saved me from becoming a recluse again. How you may ask? why it made me realize that the problem is minimal; it really is nothing but a chicken wing. you can't let little things like that make you revert back to being a recluse, or an ass, or whatever it was that made you become something you don't like. focus on the big picture. cause that's what you're aiming for; look at the name of the blog for pete's sake!

so when life's got you down, and you feel like all the optimism that you had is completely gone; look the problem dead in the face and tell it "ain't nothing but a chicken wing" (unless it's one of those women that need to grow up; then you do what I said to do in the previous posting, but this time better cause it's only one of them!)
and if you're finding that you're putting more emphasis on something that really isn't all that important (like I did today), look yourself in the mirror, make a funny face and deliver your line; you control the impact the ish has on your life.


**DISCLAIMER**

1) bhangra music makes me happy; so that song was playing the entire time i was typing. NO COMMENT.

2) I didn't actually sleep in my parents bed (I AM NO LOSER!); I slept in my sister's for a week.

that is all.

you're not in High school; grow the eff up woman.

ok, so for the second installation of what will become the beginning of my infamy, I chose to write something that's been bothering me for the past while (there's generally alot, but this is just RIDICULOUS...seriously.)
so I don't know how many of you have come across this, or if you're one yourself; but women who behave like they're in high school need to be slapped from one side! really! just line them up, stick out your hand, and run. Let that palm whack their faces. Then when you're done, you can do it to the other side. THAT'S how much these fools bother me; and I'll explain why.

so we've all been subjected to it back in the day; that stupid ditz that was in your school who, I'm sure you've thought, should just get a jump start on her career at McDonald's. And I'm just as sure that said half-wit openly displayed her "specialness" when she was in a relationship. I know that I have; and I guess it's cute, for high school. I mean, it's still a forum in which the height of intellectual and spirited conversation is limited to how cute the basket-ball captain is. so I guess for that time in life, that's appropriate behavior; but when you're in University or 18+, that stupidness needs to STOP.

Grown ass women need to behave like GROWN ASS WOMEN. That means the cute and childish things need to stop. let me give you an example. for this we need two individuals; a boy named Nihaal and a girl named Pooja ( I just picked them cause they're stereotypical names). ANYWAYS, Nihaal and Pooja are dating, and care deeply for each other; no doubt. They met at York (stereotypical again; this isn't referring to anyone in particular), and developed a strong, long lasting relationship. Now, I'm very happy for Nihaal and Pooja, not everyone's that lucky; but my issue starts when 21 year old Pooja, who's a smart individual (clearly, she's doing a double major in Bio and Chem), start's acting like a high school girl with the mental capabilities of a 6 year old. While hanging out and talking to Nihaal, who thinks he's the greatest thing since sliced bread, Pooja speaks and behaves worse than the annoying kid from your childhood. this behavior is usually displayed to the public, and me being a part of that public am fed up.

People need to realize that once you're 20, there's a certain mental expectation of you. That means that the "babeeeeeeeeeeee" and the blurbs need to stop. Ok, I'll admit that I've done the "baby" and the "babes" but that's about it; and it's been done in text messages or other PRIVATE means. never did the blurbs that make you sound like you're on the same wave length as Britney Spears. Let me give you an example. I came across this on my friend's Facebook wall:

ohhhhhhhhh babeeeeeeeee! u noe i luvvvvvvvvvvvvv u! i misses u everyday! it makes me sad dat i can't seeeee u! ur myyyyyyyyyyy everryyyttinng! ok, im gonna call u now :) miisssssssss uuuuuuuuuu!

the girl who wrote this is 23. She is a university student. My fellow west Indian women, say hello to the future.
REALLY?!?! is this what you guys are like? FIRSTLY, wow, on the wall. I don't need to see that. I get it; you're in a relationship and you miss your man. psht, I know what that feels like; but would I post that to his wall? HELL TO THE NO. Maybe a text message, but I wouldn't put that out there. look at how foolish it looks; fool.
SECONDLY; I know you're literate, you're in friggen UNIVERSITY; so learn to spell. Unlike twitter, you twit, facebook wall posts do not limited the number of characters you can post; so don't insult the education you pursued and the struggle your parents went through to get you that education by typing like that. If you had that much free time to sit there and type this shit, you had time to type it right.

and don't think the men get off that easily, cause really if that's what you look for in a person then don't consider yourself anything special. Honestly, many of my guy friends would say that they're looking for someone that they can have a conversation with; someone smart and mature and yadayadayada...does that look smart and mature to you? I thought so; so don't tell me that you're in a smart and mature relationship when there's that type of genius at play (oh, and just because she got in your pants doesn't mean it's mature; it just means y'all are fools.)

the sad thing is my dears, is that this doesn't end at wall posts. Our "smart, mature" women behave like this as well. yes. they physically encompass this intelligence when they're out in public. For instance, lets say Pooja and Nihaal went to the club. Now while at the club, something happens; lets say Nihaal dances with another girl for all of ONE song (a song is about 4 minutes long; considering how much time he spends with your "smart" ass, I think he deserves that much). Pooja sees this and is livid; she storms over and starts cussing him and yelling, causing a whole scene in the middle of the dance floor. She leaves and breaks up with poor Nihaal the next day (dude was just having fun, it was one song; and Pooja was being a complete bitch to him that night so what's her issue?). Now my dears, Nihaal was nothing short of the perfect boyfriend; if he was mine, the world would be a perfect place (THAT'S how perfect he is); so the fact that Pooja's so smart to break up with him for dancing with another girl for 4 minutes completely boggles my mind. You're that hooked that you can't let him have fun for 4 minutes when you're ignoring him at the club? wow. *SLAP*. wow.

see ladies and gents, in situations like that, SMART, MATURE women realize that it's just one song; the only thing that matters at the end of each day is where his heart is. I know that's what I believe. If the guy I was with was dancing with some next girl, that's cool. You wanna know why? Cause when that song's done and she goes off with the next guy who's butt touches her, guess where your man is gonna end up? that's right. back with you. don't think of it as him using you cause he's not. he's just having fun, like I'm sure you were with that guy who started to grind up on you.

so to all the ladies who read this and who now realize that they display any of the characteristics that I've mentioned, do yourself a favor; grow up. I'm sure that you're an amazing person, but that mushy and obsessive behavior that you developed in High school needs to stay right there; your smart and mature self is so much better than that, and it's time you let the world know that.

20 things that Oprah knows...

ok, so while at work, I came across this on Oprah's web site. this is a list of 20 things that Oprah knows for sure. Originally, I started reading it to laugh at what she considered important enough to list as something she knows, but as I read, I realized that a lot of what she said is true and is applicable to us all at any stage of our lives. so here's her list, but in addition to that, I will be making my commentary (and we all know how well that goes sometimes )


1. What you put out comes back all the time, no matter what. (This is my creed.)

Well think about it...isn't it true? think about every relationship in your life, everything you've tried to achieve; the influence and results have generally reflected the time and effort you've put into it. the degree you're studying for, the friend you make time for; all that works for you if you work for it. nothing comes on a silver platter anymore my dears. you need to do the work. And it doesn't only apply to this context; think about the things you say too. You may have an instance when you say something, not realizing how someone else might understand it; it can either have good or bad consequences based on who it is and the situation surrounding you. guys; if you don't want bad things to happen, don't invite them in. THAT simple.

2. You define your own life. Don't let other people write your script.

you ever think someone else is living your life? or that your parents are trying to live through you? i know i have! there's been times as recent as last month, even last week, where i thought i was living someone Else's life and I was walking their path and all that jazz. but was I really? I mean, clearly I existed before I knew of this person, and I'll exist after this person is out of my life, so was I really letting myself be defined by them? (for a few weeks, I honestly was) and guys, if you seriously feel like someone's trying to live through you or that you're being defined by someone else, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. you have control of your own future, no one else.

3. Whatever someone did to you in the past has no power over the present. Only you give it power.

ok, this one is iffy (and those who need to know why do). NEVER, and I mean NEVER, let your past define your present or your future. I know, I know, people say learn from your mistakes (which always happen in the past), but they said LEARN, not let them rule your life and how you live. I know people who ruin a whole bunch of stuff cause they're too blinded by their past to even realize how blessed they really are. oh, and another thing; if your past was troublesome and had bad repercussions, GET IT OUT OF YOUR LIFE. I understand that we're all nice people and ladidadida...but really, if it was bad then, chances are it will be bad again, and again, and again...look it in the face and tell it to go away; and then smile :)

4. When people show you who they are, believe them the first time. (A lesson from Maya Angelou.)

ahh, Miss Angelou. how I love you. but that's besides the point. when someone shows you who they really are, that's who THEY REALLY ARE. don't come up with excuses, don't come up with lies; it won't help. that's the person's core character, and trust me, you had a feeling they were like that before they decided to let you in.

5. Worrying is wasted time. Use the same energy for doing something about whatever worries you.

nuff said. this one's self explanatory.

6. What you believe has more power than what you dream or wish or hope for. You become what you believe.

the strongest thing that an individual can do is believe. it gives us strength in our darkest hours, and provides that little silver lining that everyone talks about and Radha likes to scribble on (I had to go there :P) dreams and wishes, while they are nice, remain just that; dreams and wishes. They never materialize. as long as you believe, you'll make an effort and eventually see results :)

7. If the only prayer you ever say is thank you, that will be enough. (From the German theologian and humanist Meister Eckhart.)

again, self explanatory.

8. The happiness you feel is in direct proportion to the love you give.

ok, this should be the way everyone lives their life. the happiness that anyone of us has felt in our life is in direct relation to the love we give; be it love of another person, love of what we do, love of what we see. there's something about appreciating things that makes us happy, so keep that in mind. If you're ever down and out, think about the things that you really appreciate; that smile will appear in no time.

9. Failure is a signpost to turn you in another direction.

you failed at something? Great! now try the other way and see what happens....

10. If you make a choice that goes against what everyone else thinks, the world will not fall apart.

not to make it sound like people don't matter, but YOUR LIFE IS YOURS TO LIVE. so live it. Don't make a decision based on the fact that you heard something or someone told you not to, or there's just a whole bunch of negativity around it; chance are that what doesn't work for them might work for you. it doesn't mean that they're gonna hate you and you're gonna be alone with nobody in your life; it just means you made a decision for yourself which might not be a popular one. it's not the end.

11. Trust your instincts. Intuition doesn't lie.

we've all dealt with this!! so now this means story time!!!! best things that have happened to be has been because I've trusted my instincts. there are sooooo many times that if I had used logic, or reasoning or anything that generally goes against my intuition, I would not have the moments that I've had or become the person that I have become. and these moments generally become my most cherished moments cause each one of them is special to me and I remember them all the time.

12. Love yourself and then learn to extend that love to others in every encounter.

sounds like my rule of thumb; love someone cause they love you. it's hard to love someone who doesn't care for you or if you don't care for yourself; it's like all this slimy hate that makes you all gross and become someone you don't even recognize. bust yes, first you must love you, and it becomes easier to love someone when they love you in return.

13. Let passion drive your profession.

love what you do and do what you love people!!

14. Find a way to get paid for doing what you love. Then every paycheck will be a bonus.

see above.

15. Love doesn't hurt. It feels really good.

holy Oprah! did you just read the manuscript of my life?!?! so yes, love, in fact does not hurt. it does feel really good. it's like the heat from the sun beating down on you while you're on the beach (i LOVE that feeling), and it makes you smile, all the time. you wanna know which part does hurt? it's when love is removed from you; that just feels like the first snow fall of the winter, it makes my bones hurt. so guys, don't say love hurts and love stinks and all that, cause it's not love. it's the other part.

16. Every day brings a chance to start over.

true. the only time you can't do that is when you let yesterday become your dress rehearsal for today. then you're effed.

17. Being a mother is the hardest job on earth. Women everywhere must declare it so.

hardest but the most rewarding.

18. Doubt means don't. Don't move. Don't answer. Don't rush forward.

doubt is just the devil in another form. doubt is what stops you; and honey, you don't need to be stopped. like i said, live your life!

19. When you don't know what to do, get still. The answer will come.

not too sure what she means, but when i'm confuzzled, i just usually take a step back and look things over; reflecting on things can sometimes help you put things into perspective (this may take more than one try; depends on your mind set. last time it took me about 5 tries and then I realized what i knew from the beginning)

20. "Trouble don't last always." (A line from a Negro spiritual, which calls to mind another favorite: This, too, shall pass.)

they don't. everything gets better. just give it time (now, who else finds it funny that I just put that down?). just stay true to you and you'll see the way.